- photo by Ben Barnhart
Resilience Matters
Robert Johnson, 43, and
Kelly Rimondi, 34
Children: Alexander, 6 and Abigail, 4
Robert: $11/hour machinist
Kelly: $20/hour customer service rep
Own home in Springfield
The shelf beside the stove in their breezy kitchen sags with cookbooks,
but Robert Johnson and Kelly Rimondi of Springfield haven’t eaten dinner
together more than once a week during their eight-year marriage. They
work opposite shifts, and although they talk on the phone two or three
times daily and “mutter” to one another when Robert comes to bed at
midnight, Sundays are the only times they’re together with their children,
Alexander and Abigail.
“Not having enough time to spend with the kids or each other is a huge
source of stress,” says Kelly. It helps that talkative Kelly and reserved
Robert share a cheerful attitude about their situation. “When we have
problems, we just roll with them,” Robert says. “We have to get from
point A to point B and can’t think much beyond that,” adds Kelly.
Kelly, 34, works in customer service for a utility from 7 a.m. to
3:30 p.m.; Robert, 43, works from 3 to 11 p.m. as a machinist. Tag-team
marriages such as theirs are common. In fact, one in three dual-earner
couples with children include at least one parent who is a shift worker.
“Shift-work issues are such a widespread phenomenon that, although
it wasn’t part of our initial proposal, we focused on these families
in a recent paper,” says Maureen Perry-Jenkins of the UMass Work and
Family Transitions Project. Perry-Jenkins hypothesized that parents
who work nonday shifts may be more depressed and argue more. The data
partially supported that idea and also showed that, with very young
children, it is more stressful for a mother to work the evening or
night shift than for a father.
Further complicating the Johnson-Rimondis home life are the children’s
disabilities. Alexander has cerebral palsy and an attention-deficit
disorder. Abigail has a mild form of autism. Niece Becky, 19, who is
developmentally disabled, shares their Pine Point home.
“There was a time when Abigail wouldn’t walk on tile floors,” remembers
Robert. “She has these sensory quirks. We couldn’t take her to a store,
and it was tough getting any shopping done with our working opposite
shifts.”
But now Alexander is thriving in first grade, while Abigail has progressed
well, thanks to nine experts, including occupational and physical therapists.
“She used to be withdrawn and not interact with anyone,” says Kelly,
as Abigail comes home from preschool, bursting with energy and demands.
The resilience of families like the Johnson-Rimondis amazed researcher
Perry-Jenkins. She discovered a notable lack of entitlement among most
working-class couples. “They don’t expect what they perceive as handouts,”
she says. “When they have a hard time, they think, ‘Maybe I can sleep
less or get my family to help out more.’”
Says Kelly Rimondi: “All these questions about how we cope makes us
take a step back and feel good about what we’re doing.”
